Watching the news on France 2 last night, I was whisked from the studio to what was, for me, to be a suprise visit to the Elysee. The bland TV news room was replaced by the opulence of a palatial room garnished with heavy brocade curtains and more chandeliers than the Trotter brothers could ever destroy in an afternoon.
And there, next to the French Flag, slim, dapper, black suit, narrow black tie and white shirt sat the President de la Republique, his exquisitely manicured hands positioned shoulder width apart and palms down on a TV set table. He was going to tell us about his view on the economic crisis, what it meant to France and what the global fuck up meant to the French 'peuple'. Opposite Le President, sat two journalists, famous anchor people, whose reverence and perfect demeanour fitted the occasion and the bloke who owns majority shares in French TV.
Off we went for 95 minutes during which Monsieur Le President took his hands off the table, waved them around a lot, gesticulated palm up to enforce a point and smiled like your best friend when appropriate. Gordon Brown acts like a mole who can't find which pile of shit in the field is his - with charisma to match. Berlusconi has been in mid-life crisis for the past 15 years and Putin always looks dodgy, it's in his lying eyes. But Sarkosy was contained, generous to 'mes citoyens', smiling, always smiling, energetic, unconfrontational and above all, delightfully French. Us the viewers marveled at his style and fancifully reminded ourselves that, lucky bloke, he goes home at night to shag Carla.
He stated with a bounce of optimism that the economic crisis was 'brutal'. He vowed he wouldn't chuck loads of public money at the private sector like the Brits and Yanks. Nor would he reduce VAT as they did in the UK because he observed "the problem is in the 'ead". Even with more disposible income people in the UK weren't spending and he's right, I'm sticking my surplus into a cash free ISA with Alliance and Leicester thank you very much.
He was riveting and the typically shallow political statements were cushioned by the sparkling delivery. "Do you know" proffered the President de la Republique, that "TVR (VAT) on dark chocolate is 5.5% in France as compared with 19.5% on milk chocolate". Lots of TVA anomalies between these two figures and he promised to do something about that. But you were left with the clear message - well it's up to you really, waste money if you want, but dark chocolate would be my choice.
He rejected the mildly posed notion from the reverential journalist that he was as bossy as Napoleon. Looking as happy as a sand boy on a sunny day, Monsieur Le President reminded us that he didn't pass the buck like Chirac, he was a man that accepted his responsibilities as head of state. If his ministers screwed up, he would take the blame willingly.
He beamed, made a joke, rested his hands palms down, shoulder width apart, back onto the table and smiled encouragingly as we all wondered what the solution to the global economic melt down was going to be exactly.
When I went to the supermarket today - I bought a bar of 70% cocoa chocolate - I know I'm going to to my bit to keep optimistic.
posted by French Deal @ 6:58 pm
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